Wednesday, June 28, 2006

Lie #2: I need to reach a certain level of spiritual maturity before God sends me a husband.

(Please excuse the tardiness! I have been down with a terrible cold these days. I think I'm getting out of it now!)

First of all, if that's the case, who sets the level? In all of my Bible studies and research for seminary papers, I never found a passage--or even a verse--that said, "When you commit no more than 5 sins a week, you will be ready to marry." That seems a little trite, I realize, but it used to make me so angry when someone would tell me, "You just haven't matured enough spiritually for marriage." Let me tell you, marriage has actually shown me how spiritually immature I am at times!

That being said, I do believe that if you have not allowed God to take center stage in her life, you might want to analyze your relationship with Him before thinking of marriage. A part of my testimony is that I truly allowed God to have my entire self. While I had moments of doubt and wondering why I had not yet married, I constantly prayed that God's will be done in my life--with or without a husband.

No, I do not believe that there exists some magical level of spiritual maturity for marriage. However, while you spend your days as a single woman, why not use the time to deepen your relationship with Christ? Instead of whining or doubting, just allow Christ to live in and through you. You'll find that, although it's not necessarily a "requirement," you will reach a more mature level of spirituality as you allow Him to fill your life completely.

Lie number 3--later this week, I hope!


Blogger Erin said...

And once (if) you DO get married, you will discover that there is a whole new realm of maturity to grow into. And then comes parenting... And then...
And then...
We will never be fully mature in this lifetime.
It's amazing to me that they (whoever "they" are)let me get married and become a parent and an adult. I don't feel very mature.

I was reading the account of Lazarus' death and resurrection today. What frustration, hurt and confusion Mary and Martha must've been going through, knowing that Christ loved them, but tarried for the express purpose that Lazarus die! If Jesus loved them, why was he allowing this pain?
Superimpose James 1:2-4 over Lazarus' death, and we discover what an honor it was that Christ chose Lazarus and his sisters to have a hand in revealing his glory and power to the world. Through their pain. Through their questions. Through their immaturity. Through their shaky faith. He loved them so much that he wanted to intimately involve them in his plan.

He did not heal Lazarus right away. He didn't raise him as soon as he came to town. Jesus didn't even show up until 4 days after the fact. But while he allowed the sisters some time to persevere and test their faith, he also felt the pain of Martha and Mary's loss, their turmoil and their questions. He wept with them.
I know God might seem deaf and distant to the woman who is longing for marriage but not there yet. Consider though, that he values her so much that he desires to give her an intimate role in his plan. He is not holding a husband back until she fulfills a certain set of maturity requirements. He is working out a plan for his glory and she is invited to be a part. Developing her maturity is a key aspect.

11:49 AM  
Blogger gretalynn said...

Thank you, Erin, for your insights! I am going to read the Lazarus story tonight. It is amazing how God uses those moments of apparent silence to form our character and to do things more amazing than we could ever imagine.

So often we look back and say, "Wow, He really was working through that period!" Why can't we learn to only say that once, resting in the confidence that when the next "silent" time comes, He's working just as He did before? much learning to do.

3:07 PM  

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